No matter how many times I try to kindly remind the people I live with that I am not a work-for-free maid, they still forget. In our particular household, I am constantly picking up after other people and it just drives me bonkers. I am at my wit’s end trying to figure out how to properly communicate with a teenager and an oblivious significant other who is just absolutely clueless about things. It’s not that I don’t have better things to do – in fact I do, I just can’t stand it sometimes when people leave a mess. Nothing also frustrates me more that after a long day of work — while everyone else can just sit on the couch and play with their phone, I am stuck cleaning. I wanted to be cool and looked for internet memes to share with them but couldn’t find any that was all encompassing. (I am not sure at this point whether this is me being passive aggressive or just not giving a fig anymore) I’ve decided on making a list and sticking this on the fridge tomorrow. Please feel free to share on the comments below about what you think about my list. And if you love this list, you can download either a PDF version here or an editable WORD version here.
Putting empty boxes/containers/bottles back in the fridge/cabinet. Because finding that entire carton of milk only had 2 drops in it is awesome!
Leaving dirty dishes/empty glasses around the house. Because a tiny little magical fairy aka the maid that doesn’t exist will pick it up and clean it for me.
Using cellphone at the dinner table. Let me read about something stupid on the internet instead of talking to people I am having dinner with.
Leaving a bunch of food/debris in the sink after using the sink. Because a tiny little magical fairy aka the maid that doesn’t exist just LOVE picking up all that gross crap from the sink that you just poured out of your bowl. YUM!
Not cleaning up the oven/stove after use. Because the next person who must use it just LOVE seeing all the grease and gunk that splattered all over the place! Maybe the fairy will do it for me?
Hair in the sink and bathroom areas. Because making other people gag is your goal/endgame here.
Stealing chargers/moving them and not returning them to their original spots. Well next time when you have a dying phone, it won’t be where you thought it was!
After using the couch, not putting the pillows back in place and not folding the blankets. Because a tiny little magical fairy aka the maid that doesn’t exist will do it for me eventually!
Using other’s peoples things without asking and not putting it back. Please, help yourself… I love it when other people touch and use my shit!
Taking long showers. Hot water is unlimited!
Not hanging up the towel after a shower. Everyone loves a wet, moist, damp towel.
Leaving the toilet seat up. Why, I do that all the time because I am fucking stupid!
Not replacing a nearly empty/completely empty toilet roll. Who doesn’t love wiping their bare dirty asscracks with hands?
Faraway Universe 